Toothpaste in My Sink

So you know how there are some things in this world that you think are perfect...until, inevitably, you find out that they aren't?

It's like you meet a guy and instantly you think he is good looking. You start hanging out with him and find out that you have a lot of things in common, he agrees with you on most important topics, and he's going places in life that you wish you could go too. Your family loves him, your friends think he's a really nice guy, he takes really good care of you and so you decide to get married. The relationship is virtually flawless. Then one day you wake up to find that he left a giant glob of toothpaste in the sink and he didn't clean up after himself. Then this terrifying thought process enters your mind: "Oh no. I've married a man that doesn't clean up after himself. I wonder what other bad habits he has that I don't know about. Have I just made a terrible mistake?!" This overwhelming feeling overcomes you as you begin to notice all of the little things you once thought were cute and are now very annoying and you realize that there is no turning back.

Yesterday, Switzerland left a giant glob of toothpaste in my sink.

Switzerland was awesome. It was the country that could do no wrong. I mean, how could it?! It's neutral after all, it hasn't even been to war since 1515, the chocolate and cheese is delicious, and the landscape is gorgeous. What's there not to like?

Well, for starters, the German language structure is completely illogical. For this difficult of a language it should at least sound more attractive. French and Italian are allowed to be difficult because you sound so smart and dignified once you are able to speak the language. With German, this is not the case. I have to jump through hoops so I can communicate like a garbage disposal.

In German, each noun has a gender. While I understand that this is common is several languages, it is particularly frustrating in German because there is no rhyme or reason why a certain noun has a particular gender. For example, "der Mann" means "the man" and is a masculine form (yes, logical), but "das Madchen" means "the girl" and is in the neutral form. Why?! In addition, the gender of the noun changes many other aspects of how a sentence is conjugated and therefore, in order to speak German correctly, one has to additionally learn the gender of each noun. And this is not all. The plurals are all different too, so you have to learn those as well. Each noun's plural can end in "-s", "-en", "-er", "-e", or many other options. Oh yeah, and the plural? It changes the gender of the noun. But there's more...the ending of adjectives also change according to the gender of the noun. But only if it comes before the noun. And the sentence structure changes the position of the adjective. And verbs come at the end of the sentence. Sometimes. Unless you are asking a question. But there are also exceptions. And the best part? Swiss people don't even speak German. They speak Swiss-German. Which isn't a written language. But I have to learn German to learn Swiss-German.

So, the moral of the paragraph is that I have to jump through hoops...that are on fire...backwards...to learn a language I won't use once I learn the language that I need to learn...all so I can sound like Hitler.


My second glob of toothpaste needs a preface:

Yesterday, my cousin asked me if I wanted to go see a movie. I thought this was a fantastic idea because the movies here are played in English with German and French subtitles. I thought, "oh good, I can sit in a dark room and pretend I'm in America for two and a half hours!" We decided to go see the movie Salt. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this movie, you should know that it is a highly suspenseful action thriller.

So we go to the cinema, buy the tickets, and go to Theater 9. The thing was the size of a two person garage and the screen was the size of two overhead projectors. Already I'm thinking, "Oh dear", but not to sound picky I decide to hope for the best and cross my fingers that my movie experience won't be hindered by the lack of screen surface. Once the movie starts I'm able to ignore the German and French subtitles at the bottom of the screen, turn my thoughts away from the garage experience, and enjoy the movie. All until about an hour into the movie and the movie stopped, the lights came on, and there was an INTERMISSION! There was a 10 minute intermission in the middle of a highly suspenseful action thriller! I couldn't believe it! It's like...stopping in the middle of a movie for an intermission!!!

I decided to buy gummybears to make the most out of my situation.


So now I know that my beloved Switzerland is not a perfect country. While annoying and somewhat infuriating, a glob of toothpaste in the sink isn't a deal breaker and I will not divorce my country over such petty annoyances. But my committment is definitely being tested....