Swagger

It has come to my attention over the past five and a half months that I regularly have miscommunications with people in Switzerland. I realize that being American and living in a European country that has 4 official national languages, a ridiculous amount of dialects, and a population consisting of 20% foreign immigrants, that miscommunication comes with the territory. However, there is one word that I have made reference to countless amount of times and without fail, it is always followed by a blank stare. Every. Single. Time. The reason I am devoting an entire blog to this word is because if you don't understand this concept you will never fully understand me.

So listen up Switzerland and all the inhabitants of the world reading my blog who are unfamiliar with the word "Swagger," 'cause you're about to get a crash course:

Swagger: (swgr) intransitive verb. The way one presents themselves, from outward appearance to attitude and conduct, that exudes bold confidence often in attempts to impress others.

Now I need to break it down a little further because it isn't as simple as just being confident. The way in which someone carries themselves as they walk down the street, the manner in which one styles their wardrobe, the words they choose in conversation, the music they listen to, the car they drive, etc., are all combined to make "Swagger."

Like most personality traits, there is a positive and negative side of swagger and it is important to outline the differences because you should never mistake one for the other. To make it clear which swagger I am talking about, positive swagger will be referred to as "Swagger" and negative swagger will be referred to as just "swagger."

"Swagger": Positive swagger (left) attracts you, turns a glance into a gaze, and captures your attention for an unexplainable reason. The outward appearance catches your eye initially, but it's the attitude that draws you in. There is a certain underplayed confidence and superiority that is intriguing. Positive swagger has a sense of class, refinement, and exclusivity that negative swagger lacks. Swagger has a certain poise and polish that takes a specific personality type to perfect. It is the understatement of superiority combined with independence that is all wraped into one delicious piece of eye candy.

"swagger": Negative swagger (right) is when you look at someone and think to yourself that under normal circumstances you might be attracted to them, but for some reason you aren't, and in fact, you are a little repulsed. It's like the feeling you get when you get a whiff of strong cologne that, had it been in a much smaller dose, might actually have smelled nice. Negative swagger doesn't yell in your face, it screams. It is the attention whore who is so desperate to be in the spotlight that they might actually bring their own to the party. Flavor Flav is the extreme case of bad swagger with his gawdy jewlery and oversized accessories. Pauly D (pictured right) is a better example of a certain kind of pathetic swagger that is more commonly seen. Under normal circumstances, had he conducted himself with an ounce of class, one might notice that he isn't so unfortunate looking. But add a bad suit, high-top haircut, fist pumping, and pointing at cameras in almost every photoshoot, and you have yourself a pretty good example of behavior that should never be repeated.

One needs to be careful in distinguishing between the two types of swagger because bad swagger often tries to disguise itself as good Swagger. Immediate behavioral indicators of negative swagger is that the person is always doing something to get noticed. If you have Swagger, there is no need to draw attention to yourself because you already have attention (and trust me, you know it). Swagger is sitting in the corner sipping on a glass of their choice drink while swagger is dancing on the table with the whole bottle.

I hope that you have found my Swagger lesson to be informative and you now know what I am talking about when I say the word. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Switzerland has neither positive nor negative Swagger. Nope, none at all.