So for those of you unfamiliar with Oregon Trail - your life is inadequate. You should try to get your hands on a copy as fast as humanly possible.
Oregon trail is a classic computer game that was invented about the time of Frogger on the DOS computer system. If you are unfamiliar with Frogger then stop reading my blog entirely because we have nothing in common and I no longer know how to relate to you. So, again, back to Oregon Trail. The game was set in the American midwest in the early something 00's. The point of the game was to get you, your wife and three children, and two oxen safely across the midwest in a wagon. Along the way you have to pace yourself, hunt for food, battle diseases, purchase or trade certain necessities, etc. The last task is to ford the Columbia River. You pack your wagon onto a raft and swim your oxen down a fast rushing river hoping you dont hit a rock and accidentally drown one of your children. If you make it to the bottom of the Columbia River then you have won the game.
Today I tried to ford the river and my oxen drown.
Thus far in Switzerland I have cleared many obstacles including a broken tooth, eating horse (or not eating horse I shoud say), grocery shopping, and a gigantic language barrier. I think I have tacked these obstacles with a certain about of grace and poise. I have finally made it to my job so it should be all down river from here, right? Wrong.
Today I went to UBS (I have no idea what it stands for and Google is in German, so all you need to know is that it is a very large bank here in Switzerland) to open a bank account. You would think that someone with money (I mean, not lots of money compared to what people put in Swiss bank accounts) and a Swiss passport could sign up for a bank account. I go to the office, sit down with a nice professional gentleman who begins to ask me what I would like from my bank account. Then one slight reference to the fact that I was American and all of a sudden I got the look. I have never experienced this myself, but I am pretty sure that the look I received is the same that the lepers got back in BC. He immediately closed his little notebook and said, "Oooohhhhh, that is bad." Oh, um, excuse me, I didn't know that being American somehow is an inconvenience to you...sir. Yeah, I got denied a bank account because aparently since Barak Obama requires Switzerland to reveal their clientele there is a whole slew of paperwork that is now required for Americans to open up a bank account in Switzerland. I guess all those rich people hiding money in Switzerland for tax evasion purposes got angry when Switzerland shined the spotlight on their secret accounts resulting in probably millions of dollars in fines for back taxes and tax evasion. Go figure. Well now Switzerland doesn't want to deal with Americans who want a bank account. So thank you rich people for giving all Americans a bad name - including the dual citizens who just want to deposit a couple hundred in the bank for simple living expenses. No, Obama, I am not trying to hide the equivalent of your sofa change from you. I just want to access my money without having to debate the (crappy) foreign exchange rate anymore (also, thank you for that, Obama). So with that I say:
Dear Obama, you owe me two oxen. Love, Rebecca
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